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Episode #1331 - Alonzo Bodden - JRE Handbook

Episode #1331 – Alonzo Bodden

Episode #1331 – Alonzo Bodden


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The show opens with happy greetings and Alonzo admires the new studio. “Heavy lightweight” is the name of Alonzo’s new show coming out on amazon. He brings up climate change. It is real, its slow and not dramatic. People don’t see it with urgency. Alonzo and Joe talk about the things that can / will happen due to climate change. As well as the current effects of climate change on our planet. Joe jokes about it being a bad time to buy real estate in Miami. 

This brings Alonzo to the Weed Industry, and how Miami was built with the Coke industry. Apparently people who sell weed legally have to hire mercenaries to watch their money. Alonzo complains how he had the one weed guy that can’t make money off weed. They talk about amsterdam. The tourist industry in Amsterdam dropped when they stopped selling mushrooms in the cafes, because people were going over there and getting high and crazy and trying to kill themselves. Joe suggests turning it into a health monitoring type program. People would have physicals and have to give a list of mental disorders and medications, and they would be given micro doses days before getting a real amount of mushrooms. Alonzo wonders who would pay for all of that. They discuss how it could be part of a tourist package and you would pay one lump sum for a 5 day experience.  Alonzo mentions how he hasn’t done mushrooms before and he doesn’t do drugs anymore. He doesn’t do CBD either because he doesn’t have much pain. Joe explains all the benefits of CBD, saying how it would help with Alonzo’s arthritis in his knee. It regenerates tissue and reduces inflammation. 

They start talking about stem cell treatments in lieu of the total knee replacement. Joe talks about his moms experience with stem cell treatments down in Panama. Stem cells can also help those with neurological disorders. Dr. Riordan has treated several celebrities including Joes mom. He is a pioneer of stem cell treatments. 

They transition to different amazon specials and how many different people are doing specials on amazon. Netflix had the market cornered until amazon came around. They talk about different networks and which ones are best for being a comedian. The topic transitions to the business of being a comedian and how difficult it is to stay ‘viral’. Joe says that if you focused all your time on making things go viral you’d go insane. They talk about how youtube has made people so famous. They discuss Jimmy Carr and how they are big fans of his. In Montreal they have a benefit show for Hope and Cope (rehab med facility) jimmy Carr came out and his opening line was “I gotta hurry up I don’t have much ti- well I have time”. Alonzo met Nick Kroll and Pete Holmes recently, he says it was really nice to meet them and that theyre both hilarious. They start reminiscing about the first time they hung out back in ‘99. Joe invited him into the cab and they drove around doing ‘spots’. Basically walk on comedy performances.  

The Comedy business has changed a decent amount in the last 20 years. Some shows like ‘The Nasty Show’ arent around any more. 

Alonzo talks about the Comedy Festival in Canada. He says Canada is not as hung up on people’s ethnicities and PC culture. They understand that during shows people are going to mess with each other and they don’t take it personally. 

Joe asks about certain places and people in Canada and if they’re still there. They talk about Comedy Works, a club thats no longer in business. Alonzo laughs about how the club wasn’t big enough for all the people who would attend. “If there was a fire [there] it would be a disaster.”  tHe says the Theatre St. Catherine is still operating with a ‘funky comedy vibe’. Joe expresses a bit of sadness that ‘Comedy Works’ is no longer there. Joe brings up a comedian Lenny Scholtz  “he was this wild crazy old man. He’d bring props on stage…” Alonzo brings up another comedian who did a lot of physical comedy. Mel Silverback, he is described as being half Jew and half Silverback Gorilla. 

They talk about Ghallagher 2 (his brother, Ron) and apparently Ghallagher (Leo) and his brother got into a legal battle over ownership of the name. Ghallagher temporarily retired and his brother took all the jokes and props and toured the country, but when Leo came back he wanted to do his standup again. They laugh about the possibilities for the court case. Alonzo says Charlie Murphy could have done the same thing off Eddie Murphy, but he didn’t. Joe says he misses Charlie and talks about times he worked with him. Alonzo says he only met him once and says ‘he seemed cool’. They talk about his death and how acts die with their comics. 

They start talking about impersonators and how no one can really impersonate a comic properly. Alonzo tells a story about being on a cruise and there was a Michael Jackson Impersonator who stayed in character the entire time. Even when getting off ship. They talk about other impersonators and how some have surgeries to look more like the person they’re trying to impersonate. Jamie brings up a London comic who impersonated Bill Hicks 10 years after his death with all new material. They talk about how weird impersonators are. Then they transition into Queen and people impersonating Freddie Mercury. 

The topic moves to bands that came around without internet and how they are so talented. They say bands were a lot bigger back then as well. Like they had rhythmic sections and other parts. “How did they pay for that?” – Joe “They charged a lot for tickets!” Joe was talking to someone who is in a band, they told him Record companies don’t take their record sales anymore. They only take the tour costs and ticket sales. They only ever sell CD’s at concerts now. Alonzo talks about CD’s v. Download Cards and how there’s an age gap for each type of media. They bring up vinyl records and how there’s a small market for them now. 

The band War sold over 50million records back in their day. They’re famous for their songs like “Low Rider” and “Why Can’t We Be Friends” Joe and Alonzo talk about how much money 50million records is and they talk about how just about all their songs became hits. 

Joe asks if there’s a good Jazz place in LA. Alonzo tells him that jazz musicians don’t really play in LA. Catalina Bar and Grill on Sunset in Hollywood and Bravado on Beverly Glen are two good places to go to. Alonzo loves going to jazz festivals. He prefers New York more so than LA because the vibe in NY is more ‘jazzy’. Alonzo goes into his love of jazz music because it covers such a wide range. There’s a lot of new young artists bringing new sounds into jazz and Alonzo expresses how much he enjoys it. He mentions one jazz artist Robert Glasper. Robert has two bands. The Robert Glasper Trio and The Robert Glasper Experience. They talk about another artist named Terrance Martin who is in a band with Glasper called R&R = Now. 

Alonzo talks about the history of hip hop briefly. He and Joe go on to talk about different bands that have become famous in that genre. 

Mal hall  opens for Alonzo. He says he hates Happy by Pherrell. Alonzo insists on it being his walk out music whenever they work together. They talk about how getting angry about something before going onstage helped with the performance. Joey Diaz would pick a thing to get mad at before going on stage so he could go on stage with that momentum. Alonzo was on his way to the Laugh Factory when he got hit by someone on his bike. It wasn’t a bad hit, but he went on stage and ranted and raved about traffic and bad drivers and he says it was absolutely hilarious. He says that was one of the few shows they never recorded. 

They talk about different recording formats that are obsolete now that we have “a whole studio in your pocket”.  They discuss Alexa and Siri and their thoughts with them. 

They start talking about how we cant even go off the grid anymore. Joe says theres now a weather balloon that can track multiple cars at 65,000 feet. The idea of that isn’t exactly new. They’ve had spy planes and things of that nature for years. Alonzo says when he was in aerospace they had airplanes flying at 80,000 feet keeping an eye on things. All new cars have a ‘black box’ in them, and people don’t realize that theyre being recorded in their vehicles. Some cars have a box in them where the police can shut your car down. They can do that with OnStar as well. They talk about new electronic license plates. If you call in your car as stolen the plate will change to say its stolen. Alonzo says people would seriously mess with you with that technology. Technology has gotten so scary because we are constantly being monitored. But people don’t care because no one is really doing anything wrong. Joe says it doesn’t matter, the govt is people and no one should have access to your private documents. Alonzo brings up a podcast he is in titles ‘Fear Not’ with Dr. Barry Glassner. They talk about what we are scared of vs what we should be worried about.

Alonzo and Joe discuss the government a little bit longer. Then they move on to Neil deGrasse Tyson. He is in trouble for a tweet he posted after the mass shootings. People say that he is using his platform irresponsibly. He had to write an ‘apology’ but it’s more or less just an explanation of his original tweet, and explaining his intent for it. He apologized to those who were upset, but stood by his statement. Joe goes into how there’s no redemption for someone who makes others mad. And that there is no ability to apologize enough. Alonzo says that we as a society don’t care about mass shootings. ‘Like its sad individually but as a whole we don’t do anything to prevent it.’

Joe has to bring alonzo back on track with the tyson tweet. They say that the timing was an issue with most people. Joe doesn’t see what’s wrong with the tweet itself other than timing. He wasn’t angered by it. Alonzo agrees. Alonzo said that Trumps tweets did have something to do with the shootings, however. Maybe not directly, but they did inspire the acts. “You can be spurred on by the words of people in power.” he goes on to say. People don’t have true compassion. They expect and demand a certain type of behavior. And the calmest voices, the rational ones, are the ones who don’t get heard. 

They lightly glaze over different topics. Alonzo asks if there is a better way to build a road. A way that is more efficient. Alonzo brings up the high speed train they have been talking about for over 30 years. He wonders why they haven’t just done it by now. He says the govt spends too much on private tech. They need to use science for the masses. They discuss possibilities and different modes of transport. Alonzo brings up riding a train frequently. Joe says they scare him when they derail because there’s so much energy and there’s no seat belts so people just go flying.

They start talking about cars and motorcycles. Alonzo has a motorcycle “I have an explosive fluid between my legs above a hot engine and my only airbags are my knees. But its easy to park!” Alonzo has a ford raptor as well. He really enjoys it. 

He talks about how he doesnt like leasing vehicles any more. He just buys and sells them now. Alonzo describes it as a ‘sickness’ where he gets bored of driving the same thing every day. He says he only buys from others with the same sickness. He says he admires the new corvette. It has a gps that recognises where you are and raises the bumper up so you don’t scrape on speed bumps. It is the fastest car ever. Alonzo says that it might be his next car. They gush over the car and how nice it is for a little while. Joe says he is thinking about getting one as well. 

They talk about Jay Leno and how he is a ‘Gear Head’. Alonzo describes wheels Leno made where the brake dust doesn’t stick to them. He was sent the metal and he fabricated them himself. Joe wonders what will happen to the garages when Leno dies. Alonzo thinks they’ll turn it into a museum. They talk about all the crazy vehicles that he has and how hard it would be to sell some of them. 

The topic stays on cars for a while. Joe has a 2007 GT3 that he says he loves. The one car Alonzo regrets getting rid of was his 88 turbo. He said “The car was literally like ‘if you get scared and let off the gas, im gonna kill you’”Joe says The Tesla is the fastest car he has ever driven in his life. They transition to Motorcycles as well and how fast they can go now. More people die on harleys and cruisers than those who ride on fast ones. They’re making electric bikes that don’t shift gears. Alonzo says they need to standardize the charging for the different electric cars. Currently they have a different one for each type of car. They have universal chargers but you have to have the adapter. 

They start talking about apple and how it is so expensive to have apple products. Apple goes out of their way to make things that can’t be repaired by third parties. Joe says the only thing Apple has going for them is privacy which is also why apple maps sucks. Alonzo says that the seamless integration is incredible with Apple. Joe agrees. Joe says he likes that Android doesn’t tell you when things are seen or if someone is replying. 

The topic jumps to up and coming comedians. Owen Smith is one that is mentioned, Joe says he is hilarious. Alonzo brings up a new comedian his manager just signed on named Andre LeClerc. He says “You know it’s over when your manager signs a younger better looking version of you” The differences between acting and comedy are brought up. Alonzo says movies are a completely different animal. He says it just isn’t for him, but he has respect for those who enjoy doing that. 

They say to work in vegas you have to live there and it’s some sort of weird purgatory. Alonzo says Vegas is the only place you can watch someone become homeless. People get banned from casinos if they win too much. Alonzo does work in Brad Garens at the MGM, and Kimmel’s new Club at the Link in vegas. They have heard of ‘The Cellar’ at the Rio being a great place. Joe’s favorite place was the Mirage. He says it’s the best room to work in. at the back of the room the sound is still crystal clear. The Ice House is the best ever created room for comedy. There’s agents that won’t accept tapes from the Ice House. They talk about how nice the owners are. That they almost ruin others for people because they’re just so nice. They spend the last few minutes talking about more comics and venues. 


My guest today is a good friend of mine of many many years, he is a fantastic standup comedian, I talk about him often on my podcast. I love him to death…The great and powerful Alonzoooo Bodden

– Joe Rogan

Any time I get injured I just head on down and get myself shot up with stem cells”

– Joe Rogan

Respect will outlast cash

– Alonzo Bodden

Tv kills comedy

-Alonzo Bodden 

Privacy is an illusion now.

– Alonzo Bodden

If the govt did its job right, you could trust them a lot more

Alonzo Bodden

Often our emotions respond more to spectacle than to data.

– Neil deGrasse Tyson

There’s certain people, right, there’s nothing you can do to make things right with them

– Alonzo Bodden

Don’t feign ignorance

– Alonzo Bodden

I have an explosive fluid between my legs…above a hot engine, and my only airbags are my knees. But it’s easy to park!

– Alonzo Bodden

You know its over when your manager signs a younger better looking version of you

– Alonzo Bodden

I wish i was gay, just so I could come out of the closet. Thats how little I give a fuck

– Dom Irrera



War – Why Can’t We Be Friends

War – Low Rider

Dick Van Dyke – singing Jazz

Robert Glasper Trio

Robert Glasper Experiment – Smells Like Teen Spirit

R&R = Now 

Craig Robinson – Take Your Panties Off

Dizzy Gillespie

Dizzy Gillespie – Manteca

Arturo Sandoval

The Brand New Heavies

Living Color – Cult of Personality

RUN DMC – mix

RUN DMC / Aerosmith – Walk This Way

Warrant – Cherry Pie

Darruis Rucker – Wagon Wheel 

Pharrell – Happy

Whole Lotta Love – Led Zepplin 

Russle Peters – Comedy Stand-up

Jimmy O. Yang – Stand up

Dana Gould – Love, Marriage and Lying

Billy Gardell – 7 Is a Funny Age

Gallagher – Mad as hell

Jimmy Carr – Standup

Pete Holmes – Stand up

The Nasty Show with Partice O’ Niel

Just for Laughs: The Ethnic Show 

Charlie Murphy – Standup bit

Joey Diaz 

Owen Smith Live in LaJolla

Richard Jeni – Just for laughs

Dom Irrera 1999 Standup

Fleabag – Trailer

Music: Queen


For Love and Country 

The U.S. Embassy is about to play host to a defector and the defector is about to play for his life. Based on an incredible true story


The Laugh Factory

8001 Sunset Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90046



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